2014 closed out for us with a brand new blessing. We had a girl!
I was scheduled for our family centered c-section on December 17th. Up until that day, I kept wishing that my body would spontaneously go into labor to avoid another surgery… Well that never happened.
On the morning of our scheduled surgery, I was fairly calm and ready to bring in our new baby. I think my nerves were calmed by the fact that we were finally going to find out of our baby was a boy or a girl. The nurses started prepping me with IVs and their millions of questions. The clocks seemed to stand still as I waited for the big moment.
Once I was on that surgery table, I was quickly put at ease with the great attitudes I saw in all the staff. The anesthesiologist was so friendly as was the surgery attending nurse. My spinal went in, and the numbing took over. This was the only time I felt awake enough to keep my eyes open during the entire surgery. Music was played, Dr. Lee came in with his positive and reassuring demeanor… And surgery began!
The tugging and pulling was so familiar. It’s such a strange feeling to be able to feel all of the movement and tugging yet not being able to feel any of the pain. When the moment came, the drapes that were directly in front of me were lowered so that I could see my baby being born. It was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. Up until this moment, I had never seen any of my kids being brought into the world. When she was finally out, I heard the words “It’s a girl!!!” My eyes welled up with tears and my heart nearly burst with joy. What an amazing moment! My daughter Abbey was a beautiful, pink, 6lbs 14oz girl!
I immediately felt so much guilt because this is the first time I shed tears of joy at the birth of one of my children. I was just as overjoyed with my boys but the tears were never there… I don’t know if it was because of the drowsy effects, the lack of staff compassion, or the emergency factor on two of those births… Whatever it may have been, immediate mommy guilt set in. Isn’t it funny how mommy guilt can strike at even the most amazing moments?!
Soon after Abbey entered the world, she was placed on my chest for immediate skin to skin time. I can’t tell you how amazing this was. She was kept close to me the entire hospital stay, even during my recovery. This is something I had never experienced and I’m so glad that I got to experience it this time around.
I think that through all that time together, I was able to heal from the heartache I kept stored away from my previous births. Dr. Lee and the staff at Edinburg Women’s Corner truly provided me with an emotional healing. I don’t know that they will ever know just how much I thank them for all their efforts in providing me with such a positive experience.
Now that Abbey is here, the journey with 5 kids begins! Homeschooling big boys plus 3 kids under 3… I think I may need some time away every week to keep up with my blog posts! Life around here will be a busy mess… But a beautiful mess I’m sure!
~Norm
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