I recently read a blog post asking if I hide my past from my children… It got me thinking.
Hide = lies right? Let’s face it, lying by omission is no different from flat-out lying. There’s white lies and just plain mean lies. Depending on your beliefs, the majority of us have lied to our children at some point. (Tooth fairy anyone?)
But in this particular blog they mention hiding your past. How much about your past are you willing to share with your kiddos? I personally don’t really know how much I’ve shared. I try not to lie to my children… When they ask questions, I try to answer frankly. I’m just not sure how much they will really ask now or in the future. I feel that sharing your life with them will help them see you are an imperfect human too, just like they are.
I always saw my parents as perfect parents and now have learned that there were many imperfections and mistakes that were made during my childhood (and now too.) I think growing up, had they shared more about themselves with me, I would have had more confidence. I often felt that I was not “good enough” or “bright enough” and that I was a disappointment… Common stuff to feel as a hormonal teen I’m assuming… How cool would it have been for my parents to tell me, “it’s ok, I felt that way too!”
I hope to be honest with my kids and to bring them comfort when they don’t feel their best. Or when they make mistakes, remind them that I’ve made those mistakes too! (Maybe even worse mistakes!!!)
I recently sat with the boys spoke to them about the Santa truth in order to come clean about Christmas. Since we are Catholic, that wasn’t difficult to explain. We talked about Saints, their lives, their deaths, and the traditions we carry on to remember them. St. Nick may not be around anymore but the magic of Christmas gift giving lives on. Really, I’m so glad that conversation is over, it was never my intention to have Santa be a “thing” in our home but the hubby really wanted to incorporate that into our holiday tradition. Now that the Santa talk is out-of-the-way, I think I feel much better about the info our boys get from us. I think I had lived with the guilt of lying about Santa for years but didn’t realize the weight of it!
Maybe I should come up with the truth about that darn Elf on a Shelf now? Luckily, I don’t think my past is horribly haunting and I will be able to approach questions with truth as they arise. The boys are still young and really don’t dig too deep just yet. If and when they do dig deeper, I hope to bring truth to them to help them feel loved and accepted whether they make little or big mistakes along their journey through life.
What have you lied to your children about?
~Norm
Leave a Reply